Just When You Thought You Had it All Figured Out...

Just When You Thought You Had it All Figured Out...

Thoughts on life, spirit and joy... by Trina Ramsey

What the World Needs Now: LOVE. Join our Kindness Challenge!!


Trina Ramsey & Russ Terry, Life Coach Radio Networks



“What the world needs now is love, sweet love.  It’s the only thing that there’s much too little of.”

 Bert Bacharach/Diana Ross


As we approach Valentine’s Day, a group of coaches from Life Coach Radio Networks decided to work on shifting the energy in the world – one person, and one action, at a time.

There are bad things that are going on in the world.  Wars. Sickness. Political stagnation and back biting. Violence. Racism and other prejudices. It’s enough to make you pull the cover over your head. But the great thing about living an empowered life is that we can CHOOSE our response to negativity.

Life Coach Radio Networks is proud to announce a new initiative:


One Love. One People. Kindness in Motion.

We are inviting positive people all over to join us in a 10 Day Kindness Challenge.  Join us by dedicating 10 days to being nicer, kinder, and more loving – through specific person-to-person actions.

Each day, do something nice for another person. It can be a stretch… like buying something significant for a family in need, or providing a homeless person with a meal (instead of spare change), or a recent trend to give a 100% tip (how cool is that). Or it can be simple. Pay a compliment. Smile. Initiate conversation with a co-worker that you were at odds with. Forgive a family member who wronged you.  And once you take on the challenge – pay it forward. Invite 2 or 3 people to do the same.  If you want to share on social media feel free. Or do it in a smaller, more anonymous way. But let’s do something good. 



There are many benefits to being nice. It reduces stress, helps you feel more connected and increases your lifespan.  People who are more generous experience less depression and improve relationships.See The Benefits of Generosity, Lisa Firestone


Also, we all know that forgiveness is more for the person who is doing the forgiving than the offender.  Smiling releases endorphins, which helps us feel less stress, and releases the harmful stress hormone cortisol. See7 Benefits of Smiling and Laughing, Jennifer Smith  So clearly, doing something for others is equally beneficial to ourselves. 



But above all that, the world is hurting right now. We live in an age of instant gratification, stress, and constant exposure to all the negative news. Our media outlets stress the bad more than the good, which can contribute to why people are feeling like things are just bad all over. We need to restore hope in humanity – in our inherent goodness.  That we ALL MATTER – no matter what our race, income or sexual orientation.  I AM YOU. And YOU ARE ME. 

Join us, won’t you? Let’s do something GOOD…. TOGETHER.  Visit http://www.lifecoachradionetworks.com/1love1peoplekindnessinmotion/ for details.



Russell Terry, Jr.  Founder & Executive Producer, Life Coach Radio Networks, Author of My Gratitude Journal

Trina Ramsey, Career & Life Coach, Host of “Career Talk with Coach Trina” on Life Coach Radio Networks  www.trinaramsey.com

Where is the love?

These words are from the song, "Where is the Love", by the Black Eyed Peas.  Very fitting indeed... 


A lot is going on in our world right now. We are becoming more and more divided, and less and less tolerant of one another. And people are dying at the hands of those who should be protecting them. Nations are turning against nations, and friends and family members are at odds about the “right way” to handle things. And social media and traditional media is whipping us up into a frenzy.  It’s nuts.  And it doesn’t have to be.


I am one of those people that can sometimes annoy others with my optimism. I find a way to look on the bright side or lend an encouraging word. But to be honest, I am struggling right now.  And while I’m trying to stay informed, I am avoiding those talking head shows like the plague – because the producers inevitably pit people with vastly opposing views against one another and they slug it out with words – analyzing and replaying what has happened when the truth is – we have to move FORWARD from here. 


Today I’m going to contrast two emotions:  Fear vs. Love.



Fear breeds mistrust and distances people. I see you as my enemy instead of my potential ally.  I am in a “fight or flight” posture, and when things get heated, I will fight (or shoot) first and ask questions later.  Every man (or woman) for him/herself.  This is a lonely, disempowered and diminished existence.



Love promotes openness and understanding.  I see you first and foremost as another human being.  I trust you first, and assume the best. And when we disagree, I work with you to find a place of mutual understanding so that we can move forward.  This is a much more empowered stance, and tends to help people to move forward and seek unity.


Here’s the thing:  We will NEED TO WORK TOGETHER to get to the other side of this. And we will need to learn how to see the commonalities in one another instead of the difference.  As Steven Covey states, “seek first to understand, then to be understood”.  United we stand, divided we fall… all that good stuff.  The problems of our nation and our world are so huge that it can be difficult to imagine workable solutions. But look to South Africa where apartheid was the norm until a different way was imagined, and until the collective will of the people set things in motion to create lasting change in that country.  Look to Germany, where world leaders got to the point of tearing down a wall that divided the country for many years. Real change can happen, but we must be open to it. We must first put our fears aside and open ourselves up to love.



It’s the holiday season, where people find ways to be more generous, loving and caring.  I am issuing this challenge to you, and invite you to pay it forward.  While you are going about your day to day life, take the 10 Day Kindness Challenge.  Each day, do something nice for another person. It can be a stretch… like buying something significant for a family in need, or providing a homeless person with a meal (instead of spare change), or a recent trend to give a 100% tip (how cool is that). Or it can be simple. Pay a compliment. Smile. Initiate conversation with a co-worker that you were at odds with. Forgive a family member who wronged you.  And once you take on the challenge – pay it forward. Invite 2 or 3 people to do the same.  If you want to share on social media feel free. Or do it in a smaller, more anonymous way. But let’s do something good. 



In love and peace, 


The Number One Killer of Dreams



What is the number one killer of dreams?

... Insecurity? 

... Laziness? 

... Lack of drive? 

All of those things can contribute to us not getting what we want out of life.  But in my opinion, the biggest factor keeping us from pursuing our dreams is a simple 4-letter word....fear.


Fear attacks us from all sides. We’re afraid to fail, afraid to not do “what’s expected of us”, afraid of looking bad, afraid to succeed! We’re afraid of losing money, prestige, standing in the community. Afraid of what “they” will think of us.


So we ignore our inner voice. We stuff down the yearning inside of us. We play it safe. We stay in our lane. And life goes on… and on… and on.


And sometimes, most of the time, things work out ok.  And that’s fine. Except for that nagging voice that always wonders “what if”.  What if I had gone for that promotion, moved to another city or country, found the courage to leave a bad relationship or a job I detest instead of settling for “it’s better than nothing”?


But sometimes the nagging sensation eats at us, and we slowly over time realize that “there’s got to be more to life than this”. Yet we allow our fear to keep us trapped in that smaller, safer place. And we become miserable. And we may in turn make the other people in our lives miserable too.



I’m on a mission y’all.  I want to inspire and support people to push past their fear and say “yes” to themselves. I know what it’s like to say “no” to my inner voice, who quietly prodded me to try something new. And I shut her down… QUICKLY (in 30 seconds flat - to be specific).  


And now I also know what it’s like to say “yes” to myself and pursue my gift.  No I’m not a millionaire, and this is still a “side gig” for me.  But let me tell you… I’m having a BALL!  If you’ve listened to my radio show or been to one of my workshops, I’m sure it’s pretty evident.  And THIS feeling is what I feel called to help others achieve.  Because at the end of the day, we only get one crack at this thing called life.  And I’m determined to squeeze every drop out of it. 


Take a few minutes to ponder this…

We’ve got a little more than 90 days left in 2014.  What are you going to do with the rest of it? Try this exercise for me.  Are you game?  OK… Here we go.


Sit comfortably for 5 minutes and ponder these questions. If you want, write about it. Or just think. If now is not a good time, print this out and come back to it. Trust me – it’s worth it. 


1.   What do I want that I haven’t allowed myself to consider – for whatever practical reason (or out of fear)?


2.    What would change if I allowed myself to consider the POSSIBILITY of pursuing this thing?


3.    How do I feel right now even thinking about this?


4.    What ONE thing can I do that is within my power, time and resources, to make a positive impact in my life before 2014 ends?


What came up for you? Did that feel exciting or SCARY? Empowering? If you came up with something positive to do before 2014, I implore you to follow through on it – no matter how big or small.  Because here’s the bottom line.  Life ticks by… moment by moment… day by day... And we look up and it’s 10 years later.  Carpe Diem my friend! Seize this moment.  Who knows where this one decision will take you!


Today I just want to encourage you to think more about what’s possible in your life. And if this message encouraged you or caused even a tiny shift, I’d love to hear about it.  If you know someone who would benefit from this message, please forward it on.  


Pay it forward! 

Put Your Butt On The Line - New Program Fall 2014







I’m issuing a challenge to only 5 dedicated people to join me on a journey this fall.  I’m calling it a mastermind group for lack of a better word.  

I get great feedback on how encouraging my messages and radio shows are. I appreciate the support! But I am ready to  up my game in this realm. I get the most joy in making a real impact with people – in digging past the surface to what’s stopping you from succeeding. 

So I'm looking for a small group of people who are really ready to go for it – and have something specific that they want to change, improve, or launch.  You also must be READY TO PUT IN THE WORK. 


Put Your Butt on the Line! 

New group for people ready to create change in their lives.


  • Are you ready to make a change once and for all? 
  • Is there is something you’ve been going to do “one day” but haven’t gotten around to yet? 
  • Are you finally ready to begin the next phase of your life? 
  • What will take you to that next step?


I am starting a small group for people who have something specific to accomplish…. big or small. 


Maybe you want to go back to school, change careers or take that first step to launching your business. Or maybe you need to let some things go to make room to create something new, or you want to streamline your finances to begin saving for that dream vacation. Maybe you are ready to finally write that book you’ve been talking about.


Whatever it is, we will go through a systematic process to make sure that everyone is making progress – and you’ll have the support and accountability from the group.

Here's how it works: 

  • Virtual group: you can live anywhere and still participate. We'll have calls or online chats - and maybe a secret Facebook or Google group if people are interested. 


  • We'll launch in early October work over the course of 90 days. I will work with the group to develop our schedule of sessions (keeping holiday schedules in mind as well). 


  • We will commit to one another as a community and use a systematic approach to create, commit to, and work on a specific action plan for each person.


  • This will be an intimate group limited to 5 people. The first 5 people to enroll and pay get to go now - otherwise there's a wait


  • To apply contact me at tramsey43@gmail.com or 202-384-0797 to let me know you're interested, and I'll send you more details. The group will close after 5 participants are selected.



There is a fee of $500 to participate, including 3 payment plans, with discounts for paying up front/sooner. 

  • One payment of $400 (25% savings) if you pay 100% up froNT
  • Two payments of $225 (total of 450
  • 4 monthly payments of $125 (total of 500




We can do this... TOGETHER


You all know who I am.  I get it done.  I set goals and push to achieve them. I challenge myself. And no, things don't always go according to plan, but I’m willing to put my butt on the line and give it my all. I’ve studied under some amazing and powerful women and men over the past 5 years. I’ve learned some things that I use in my life that I want to share with you.  And I’ve learned to let go and have fun… to accept myself and my unique “quirkiness”, and to embrace all sides of myself… even the messy parts. I’ve also learned to have take time for myself and take better care of myself – even if it’s just a couple hours for a walk or a day trip, or an outing with the girls.


I know I take a lot on - but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way!  First of all, the grace of God sustains me and helps me to move forward even when things aren’t going as planned. But the other thing is I have truly found my PASSION in life – and that is making all the difference. Here’s the bottom line– I WANT THE SAME FOR YOU




I believe in living life to the fullest. Many of you are already A-types - supermoms & dads who do what they must for their families and communities. 


But sometimes you don’t do what you need to for YOURSELF. You've lost the passion for life and you’re on autopilot. And you have that ONE THING that you really want to do but haven’t made time/energy for.  If this sounds familiar, I invite YOU to join me this fall so we can build a plan to make it happen. If I can do it – so can you! 


I am going through a selective process to enroll people in this program, because I only want to work with people who are ready to put in the work. We’ll get started in early October, and we’ll build the schedule for sessions and timeline based on the participants' schedules – including allowing time for the holidays - so that it’s mutually convenient. 

 If this appeals to you, contact me and we’ll talk through the details.  Tramsey43@gmail.com.  




Not into groups?  Groups are not for everyone. I have room to take on 1-2 more clients in addition to this group.  f you like this concept but not the group coaching factor – contact me. We’ll work something out. 




My Desire Map Journey

I recently had a defining moment.  After following the phenomenal Danielle LaPorte for about a year, I recently joined the ranks of hundreds of sojourners who embraced her latest book: The Desire Map.  I became an affiliate and led a book club in the Washington DC area that launched in January.  It was an eye-opening experience! 


“Look Desire in the Eye.”

That was Danielle's challenge, and that's exactly what I did.  I consider myself a risk taker, but I mainly take calculated risks. This was new territory for me.  


It stretched me - in ways I didn't expect.  


I resisted at first. I'm a person of action. You know… “Get it done!” It was feeling too academic.  I didn’t like digging around for words. Help me create a plan! Also, as a book club leader - I was spending time making sure that people were getting what they need and prepping between sessions.  But I was also doing the work, absorbing Danielle’s words (her audio book is amazing – she puts so much of her personality into it!)


Now that a few weeks have passed since our last session, I’ve been able to really reflect on my own experience. I looked at the question “How do you want to feel?” countless times.  At first it feels selfish. As a mom, a life-long do-gooder and helper of others, it feels too decadent to focus inward so intensely. We definitely talked about that during the book club!  People described fighting feeling “selfish”. But it does not mean that you are forsaking others in pursuing your own growth.  Big difference.


In a nutshell. This is what I experienced:


FREEDOM.  I feel more open and less constrained about my choices. Not as worried about “what people will think” (this was HUGE for me). My ‘risk-taking’ muscle has been put to good use.  More action – more empowering, creative stuff. Loving it! It’s even impacted my approach to love and relationships.  Very freeing!


FOCUS. I’m showing up more in my business.  This includes getting rid of my concerns around self-promotion – and allowing myself to envision the day when I’ll be doing this full time (exciting!!!) But in the meantime, I have moved my business from “when I have time” to a more central part in my life. And it’s already paying off.


EXPRESSING more. I’m pursuing my blog talk radio show as part of the Life Coach Radio Network. It’s allowing that to be a platform for my career coaching business. And I’m meeting some fascinating people! I am having SUCH a good time!  To learn more about my show visit its home on Facebook. All the archived shows are there. Visit Career Talk with Coach Trina


My core desired feelings: 


Passionate, Joyous, Limitless! Abundance, Authentic.


Beyond defining these words for ourselves, Danielle pushes us to incorporate “how we want to feel” in every area of our life – being more intentional about how we set goals and plan our lives.  It’s a different take on it but I’m enjoying it. 


I still have work to do. I still feel fear, and constraints - primarily over money.  But I am finding myself being able to let go more about things quicker than I used to… partially because I am focused more on “how I want to feel” in the context of my larger life.  My passion for life has been reignited – in all areas.  It’s such a blessing!


ARE YOU READY to start YOUR Desire Map journey?

Learn more about the Desire Map (and get your own copy) here.  My prayer for you – that you get all you want in life, AND MORE. It’s not selfish. YOU DESERVE IT.

Much love, Trina

It's Time to Get on With it

t’s time. Now’s the time. Not tomorrow. Not next week. NOW. It’s February. The confetti has fallen. The dust has settled, and whatever goals or resolutions we've& made for the New Year – either we are pursuing them, or we’re NOT. So how’s it going for you? Are you excited about the direction 2014 is taking? Kudos to you if you are taking action to pursue your goals this year! 

But this message is to those of us who are NOT moving forward.

I hope it encourages you.

What’s going on in your life? Are you…

…overwhelmed? Are you too busy – pulled in too many directions to really focus on your future? It’s hard to move forward if you are stuck on the treadmill, feeling like you are going nowhere.

… in a rut? Do you have a case of the “why bother’s”?  Have you told yourself that things can’t change, so why waste the effort? Or worse – is someone else in your ear telling you that you won’t succeed?

… in pain? Are you recovering from a letdown or loss of some sort, and it’s stopping you from feeling the excitement and positive outlook you once held for life?

… scared? Fear is the #1 dream killer. We worry about making the right choice, about failing, about looking bad. What fears are keeping you from taking action?

Whatever is keeping you from moving forward, I encourage you to shake it off and find a way to take at least ONE STEP toward your ideal future.   

Here are a few tips: 

  • Too busy? It is absolutely essential for you to carve out some time for yourself.  Even if it’s 10 minutes of quiet during the day, or a 30 minute walk. If you are racing from one thing to the next, you don’t have time or energy to devote creating something new. Remember, before you're able to build something new, you must first create it in your mind. Try to find one hour for yourself THIS WEEK. Do something that’s important to YOU. Or spend time on something fun - like relaxing, listening to music, reading a book, or exercise. 
  • Feeling stuck? If you are lacking the motivation to move forward, it’s hard to make positive changes in your life. Try to build time into your schedule for things that you enjoy – that feed your spirit. Have fun. Relax more. Spend time with friends and family. Once your spirit is replenished you may be more energized and optimistic – and more capable to take on a new adventure.
  • Suffering?  Any loss is damaging to the spirit. It’s important to allow yourself to go through the grieving process, so that you can begin to heal and then move on to bigger and better things. The sun will shine again. Surround yourself with positive people to help you get through this period.
  • Afraid?  There is simply no way around the fact that in order to conquer your fears, you must face them head on. Arm yourself and just go for it. Answer this question: What’s the worst that could happen? Put on your big boy or girl pants and then GO FOR IT!

Here’s the bottom line:  life progresses minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.  We can move with it or we can stay where we are.  It’s tragic when people stay on auto-pilot, or live their lives governed by priorities other than their own, only to look up 5 or 10 years later, wondering where the time went.  LIVE WITH URGENCY.  For today is really all we have. Make the most of it! 

Why People Matter

About a week ago I saw Robert Reich’s new movie “Inequality for All” – a hard look at how our country came to be so divided and unequal economically.  He chronicles stories of the wealthiest, as well as those of middle class families who are struggling to raise their families on two incomes. They followed the rules and are still stuck. But they persevere.


It is inspiring to see how seriously Reich takes his life-long mission to look after the “little guys”.  One close-up shot shows the sadness in his eyes when he asks himself, “have I failed? I’ve been talking about this all my life and it hasn’t changed things.”  This is a man who has achieved success on a number of levels, but he still pushes himself to do more, to contribute more.  It’s inspiring.


Fast forward 6 days.  October 1, 2013 – Day 1 of the much-dreaded government shutdown. I pray this gets resolved quickly.  It scares me how a group of Congressmen can decide that putting nearly a million people out of work (albeit temporarily) due to their own stubbornness is somehow “right for our country”.  It is irresponsible and selfish – and it comes down to two things.  Fear and a desire to win at all costs. 


I am struck by the difference between Reich’s approach to the world, versus the behavior of some of our government and business leaders.  Reich believes that everyone matters.  They believe that only some people matter – the rest are expendable.  Reich wants an economy that is healthy for all Americans, where people have an opportunity to achieve the American Dream through hard work and upward mobility.  The others believe that the American Dream is only for the elite.  This is the difference between having an abundance mentality vs. a scarcity mentality.  Those who think abundantly believe that there is enough good to go around. Those who don’t believe that think they have to protect their hard earned money from the “others”.


We are all the same. We bleed red blood, we are mortal, and we want the basic things in life: love, security, and our physical needs. We all have ambitions. We want our kids to be better off than we are. 


I admit that I am an eternal optimist.  I believe in the inherent good in people. I believe that though we go through tough times, things can work out if we have faith and don’t give up.  The irony of the experiences in this past week is staggering – inspired on one end, and completely frustrated 6 days later. But I do believe that there is justice in the world, and that one way or other, you reap what you sow.



It seems everyone wants to win, at all costs. This is what’s happening in politics. No one tries to collaborate or compromise. When you go for the win at others’ expense – you will eventually lose. I recently gave a workplace presentation on relationships in the workplace, and I talked about how much more powerful it is to go for win/win solutions.  Together we can achieve more, can create more, if we stop seeing one another as adversaries. 


What’s your outlook on life? Do you try to win with no regard for others? Or do you go along blindly with the consensus. Cooperating doesn’t mean you’re a doormat. You can (and SHOULD!) look out for your own self interests.  Conflict is a part of life – there’s no way around it.  The next time a disagreement arises, try a new approach.  Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People states, “Win-win is a belief in the third alternative. It’s not your way or my way. It’s a better way. A higher way."

Try it!  

Are you fed up yet?

    Are you enjoying your life? Or is there a nagging feeling that “there’s got to be more than this?”  Today we will explore the two extremes of frustration verses contentment, and how each can help you get what you want out of life.  If you had to rate your life on a scale of 1 to 10, what number would you choose? What would you do differently? What goals remain attained? What problems need to be addressed sooner rather than later?


The Value of Discontent

Life is like a roller coaster.  There are highs and lows, dips and curves. It can be thrilling and nauseating all at once.  But it’s your perspective that matters the most.  Is your glass half full or half empty?  And if you are really discontent, what are you going to do about it? No really… are you ready to put a stake in the ground and make a change? Or will you let days and weeks continue pass without taking the steps necessary to get what you want out of life?  


Sometimes we can be upset about things, but not uncomfortable enough to change.  When the pain of keeping things the same is greater than the work required to change things – when we get FED UP â€“ we are then motivated enough to take action.  But why wait until you’re miserable to improve things? 


Choosing Contentment

You can CHOOSE to be content with your life. It seems so elusive but it really is all about a shift in mindset.  Paul found a way to be content and find value in his life, even from a prison cell. Are things that bad for you? We all have problems, but we all have blessings too. Here are two keys to choosing contentment.


  • Focus on the good. What’s good in your life? What makes you happy? Who are the people who make a big difference in your life? Count your blessings. As we all know, things could be much worse.  If you haven’t done so before, consider keeping a gratitude journal. Each day write down 3-5 things you are grateful for. Begin focusing on the good. What you focus on expands. 


  • Don’t be a victim. Victim mentality is debilitating.  Victims choose a powerless stance by not taking responsibility. Some choices are harder than others. Are you in a bad relationship? Choose today to either invest in making it better, or walk away. If you CHOOSE to stay, then you CHOOSE to accept responsibility for your happiness by doing whatever you can to make that relationship succeed.  If it’s already to late, don’t waste another moment of your life telling yourself the lie that you don’t have options, because I’m here to tell you from personal experience, YOU DO.  Choose yourself.  Then act on it. 


  • What about your work situation? Are you in a job that you hate? Do you daily go through a litany of what others are doing to make life miserable for you? Again, this is a powerless perspective. Are you doing everything in your power to make it a good experience? Or have you given up and don’t really invest in doing your part? Maybe it’s just time to go. I believe that we spend too much time working to not have it be a good experience. If you are not happy with your current job and are not actively taking steps to get another one, or decide what you'd really like to do that is more fulfilling, then you are choosing to stay unhappy.  Inaction is a CHOICE not to take action.  Make a choice. Leave or stay. Only you know what’s best. And you have to trust yourself. Sometimes deciding to seek contentment in a situation that is less than ideal can turn things around. Whatever your choice, own it, and shift your actions to follow suit.  Check in with yourself 30 days later. I’d love to hear how it goes!  


    My prayer for you – that you will live a life that his happy, prosperous, and full of joy – with FEW REGRETS! Carpe diem! 

    If you are ready to take a step forward email me or give me a call at 202-384-0797. I look forward to hearing from you!


Peace and blessings, 



PS. If you liked this piece and want to hear more, please email me and I will add you to my eNews list.  

A Mother’s Day Wish for the Rest of Us

Mother’s Day is a beautiful day to honor one of the most special relationships there is. Except for when that bond is missing, or broken, or has not occurred. Today I am taking a different lens to one of our most revered holidays. First I want to honor all of the mothers, surrogate mothers, aunties, grand moms, foster parents and single dads who fill that role for their children. The rest of this post is dedicated to those who fall somewhere in between.

My hope here to offer words of encouragement to people who are hurting this Mother’s Day, or who feel left out of the hoopla. Some of us may have lost our mothers at an early age.  For example my mom died when I was 14, and my sisters were only 7. It was a turning point in my life, and created a void that is always present. I am eternally grateful to my cousin Annette, who took me in, my Aunt Annie who cared for my sisters, and the many extended family members who stood in the gap for us. Not all are as blessed. Even as adults, the loss of a mother leaves a void – no matter what age we are. Others may be adopted or benefited from foster care. Although they may not know their biological parents, they have been “chosen” – which is very special indeed.

Motherhood is hallowed in our society. Yet some women are unable to bear children, or have suffered the loss of a child to miscarriage or other complications. Others choose not to have children, and some people unfairly judge them for their choice. For some women, they may reach menopause without having the opportunity to bear children. These women are somehow left out of the celebration during these days, though they may play important roles such as auntie, God mother, big sister or mentor.

Life brings us both joys and sorrows. And I have had my share of both. As a mom, I am tremendously blessed. And as someone who lost her mom, I have spent most of my life without that crucial life-line. I have friends who fall in all of the categories I mention above. We love and we grieve. We have the family we are born with, and the family we create. In some cases the bonds of the latter outweigh those of the former.

This Mother’s Day, I encourage you to honor all of your relationships, maternal or not, familial or not. If you are grieving someone special this year, own the pain, because there is no way around it. But try not to let it swallow you. Try not to be alone. Make the most of what God has given us. Life isn’t always fair, but we can choose to embrace what is – to embrace the people we love.

May God be with you and yours, and may you experience so much love that your heart bursts from happiness.

TRamsey May 2013



Stop Playing it Safe!!

In my opinion, one of the biggest mistakes people make is to let fear, doubt and other factors keep them from taking risks. It’s scary to take on a new challenge, especially a big one. As a coach my mission is to work with people in the pursuit and realization of their dreams. And one of the biggest killers of dreams is negative self-talk.  I’ve done it. Honestly – I still do it. We all do. We just need the tools, confidence and support to learn how to reprogram ourselves to overcome the things that hold us back.

All tied up!

I have shared with some of you how my own self-doubt stopped me from even considering entering the field of coaching the first time I thought about it. It took four years and the influence of a fantastic weekend experience to open me up to really embrace what I consider my true calling in life.  And I haven’t regretted it!


So let’s talk about YOU. Are you going for it? If so, I’d love to hear about it! I’m always looking for success stories!  If not, what’s holding you back? Take a moment and think about it.  If you journal, this might be a good time to take a few notes. 


But first I have a few success stories to tell you.

  • I recently met a woman in her 60s who embraced a mid-life career as a painter after raising her family.  She recently held an art show at her home. She is really talented - I even bought a piece! More importantly, I can tell that she is having the time of her life!


  • I had a wonderful conversation with my cousin last week. She and I talk semi-regularly about our goals and dreams. She shared with me a huge decision to move away from her office job to embrace her true calling of traveling the world to promote conflict resolution through art with youth. I’m so excited for her!


  • I have two good friends who left their 9-5 jobs to pursue coaching practices. I’m looking forward to that day myself!


So let’s get back to YOU. Again, if you are journaling, get your pen and paper out. Or just take a few minutes to answer this series of questions:


Is there something you have been meaning to “get around to” in order to pursue your dreams? Is it a career change? Or maybe it’s a decision that your spouse, family or friends may not approve of. Let me ask you this: whose life is it anyway?


What's your passion? Do you know right away? Or is your answer something like this: "I haven't thought about it in a long time." Or worse: “I don’t have any passions.”  If this sounds like you, I am sad to inform you my friend, that you are letting life pass you by. If you are happy with your life, and the idea of change or risk is just too scary for you… that’s understandable.  But be sure that it’s a choice you are actively making to “stay in your lane” and play out the hand you were dealt.  As long as it’s YOUR choice, and not fear or doubt convincing you it’s the “safe thing to do”.


If you know what your passion is, do you take time to enjoy it? Or do you let fear or other things hold you back? Is your excuse, "I don't have time?" When will there be enough time if you don't make it a priority? Time is like money - a finite resource. And we choose how to spend them both. Are you choosing wisely or letting life and circumstances make your choices for you?


What are you willing to do to pursue your dreams? So let’s get practical.  The only way to effect change in your life is to act. To make conscious steps forward. In order to make your dreams a priority it will cost you time, energy, and more likely than not, some money. You’ve got to have ‘skin in the game’.  Are you ready? Here are a few tips:


  • A new year is coming. Take advantage of the natural tendency to take things to the next level for the New Year. But don’t wait until January. Get started now!


  • Take time alone regularly to reflect and journal about what is working in your life, and what you want to achieve. If you are already working on pursuing your dreams, use this time to plan next steps and evaluate.


  • Surround yourself with like-minded people who will support you and champion your goals. The quickest way to make a goal real is to tell someone about it.  Trust me – it works!


  • Take one small step you toward your goal. Make it small enough that you can achieve it in the next 24 hours. Then DO IT! If you are so moved – email me and tell me about it at tramsey43@gmail.com


Here’s to the journey.  Live. Life. Fully. Tomorrow is not promised!


Much love, Trina


Need a little inspiration?

I developed some new programs that I think will help! Free conference calls starting in November, and workshops starting in January! Choose from three tracks: Career Exploration, Cultivating the Adventurer’s Spirit, and Embracing Change. To stay up to date and subscribe to my eNewsletter, visit my website: http://www.trinaramsey.com/#!contact

Can YOU handle the truth?

The truth hurts.  The Truth will set you free.  Well, which one is it? How about… BOTH!

How honest are you? I think most decent people consider themselves pretty honest.  We do our best to put our best foot forward, live up to our commitments, and tell the truth.  Except maybe…

  • When it will make someone else uncomfortable, sometimes even at our own expense.
  • The things we say to (or try to hide from) ourselves

Aha! Did I touch a nerve?  Stay with me please… let’s explore a bit more. Sometimes the best “stuff” happens when we are uncomfortable. 

Avoidance is an art form

What lies have you been telling yourself about your life and what you can achieve? Do any of these sound familiar?

  • I’m too busy to exercise, to spend time with (insert name here), to take a vacation
  • I’m not good enough
  • I’ll never be able to do it
  • I can’t have that
  • It (whatever “it” is) will always be this way. 

What truth have you been hiding from yourself?  Try these powerful words out. I hope that they are already part of your vocabulary, but if not, choose what is needed most and be HONEST with yourself.

  • I AM WORTHY, smart, strong, sexy (fill in the blank).
  • I can take the time to prioritize the things that are important to me in my life (including myself!)
  • I can do whatever I set my mind to achieve!

On the other hand, we shy away from the unpleasant things.  YOU know… that thing from your past that you’ve been trying to ignore.  What is it that you need to DO about it? Who do you need to forgive in order to move past it? Maybe even yourself? How can you finally let go of this negative energy for once and for all?

Here’s the thing.  Words are powerful, and truth is eternal.  We walk around telling ourselves things that aren’t true, and at the same time ignoring the truth of our circumstances that is keeping us stuck, disempowered, and fearful.  Ignorance is bliss, right? Or is it? The cool thing is… you can always CHOOSE to change your perspective.  Take your head out of the sand. Open your eyes.  Take the red pill (for the Matrix fans).  Truth is power.  The truth – shall indeed set you free. 

Like what you read? Subscribe to my eNewsletter by visiting this link:  http://www.trinaramsey.com/#!contact

A Day of Doing Nothing

11:20 am  It’s Sunday morning. I would normally be in church. But today I decided to take the day off – from life. The past couple of weeks have been incredibly full.  There was a death in the family, which prompted two weekend trips to support and participate in honoring our loved one. I just got back last night. In the meantime, I am launching a new program for my business, so have been spending lunch hours and late nights creating copy, working on promoting my business and networking. My son is starting high school and my daughter just headed off to her second year of college.  And my job is always very busy – no day the same.  I am blessed. I am tired! lol


I believe in living life fully. As a result, I admit that I take on more than I should at times. As I have matured, I occasionally allow myself a bit of down time. Today happens to be one of those days.  It’s ironic that it’s Sunday – the day that God wants us to set aside for rest.  Also ironic is the fact that I have also chosen to skip church today.  I generally experience Sunday as one of the busiest days of the week: church, shopping, cooking, and preparing for the week. But today I am slowing it down. To be honest, my body is requiring me to take a breather. 


2:25 pm  So far so good!  I guess writing this is a form of “work” but it’s also play for me so it’s all good. I am wearing comfy clothes and catching up my DVRs and political shows. I made a great veggie omelet for brunch. Don’t worry, I don’t plan to give a play-by-play of the entire day.  Lol.




One of the great things about spending some time not going, doing, and rushing around is that you get to reconnect with yourself.  You get to connect with ideas, thoughts or feelings that may lie beneath the surface.  You get to turn the dial down a bit. Maybe even squeeze in some fun (nice concept, huh?)


I have a question for you. When have you taken some time for yourself? I will admit it feels a bit luxurious to have an entire day. But it could be an afternoon, or even an hour or two. Just 30 minutes could make a huge difference. If you haven’t dialed it back lately, I encourage you to schedule some me time THIS WEEK. 

Here are a few ideas:

  • Visit your favorite park for a nature walk, or just sit on a bench and reflect.  Minimum time: 30 minutes
  • Take a bubble bath! Add sparkling water or wine and relaxing music – make it an event!
  • Grab coffee or lunch with a good friend you’ve been meaning to reconnect with.
  • When you get home from work, turn on some music instead of the TV. Put your feet up and enjoy! Take a couple of deep breaths.  Ahhhh!
  • Take the afternoon off and catch a movie.
  • Take a drive to “nowhere”.  Put your favorite music on and just follow your nose (this is a good weekend activity).
  • Take a mid-afternoon break for ice-cream, a latte or frozen yogurt.


So here’s the challenge. Choose 1 thing from this list (or something else of your choosing) and decide NOW when that’s going to happen this week.  Call that friend to set that appointment.  Block off some time in your schedule if necessary. Ready, set, go!!


Until next time...

Your friend, Trina



The Crossroads

Have you ever been at a crossroads? What am I thinking? Of course you have! Most of us have reached a place in life at least once when we are faced with an important choice. Sometimes it is unexpected – a series of events lead us to the inevitable ‘fork in the road’, and we have to choose. Sometimes it is by design. You may have decided to embark upon a new career – so you obtain the appropriate training or degrees, research employment options, and one day you land the job you were seeking. 


Thrilling, right? Or terrifying?  Most people are resistant to change – particularly if it’s something that you didn’t plan for.  But there we are… facing that fork in the road.  Oh how nice it would be to have some way to peer down each road to know ahead of time how it will turn out – and then you can make a more informed choice.  But that’s part of the mystery of life, isn’t it? We have to take one day at a time. 


When facing a crossroads, here are a few things to keep in mind:


  • Which path will bring me the most joy?
  • Which path will get me closer to my heart’s desire?
  • How much will I allow fear (of failure, of the unknown) dictate my choices?


Life is a journey – to be embraced.  We cannot change the past, nor can we foresee the future.  Just trust yourself, have faith, and make a choice! 


*Raises glass* - here’s to the adventure of life!


God bless,




The 2 Way Mirror


She stands with her hands pressed against the glass. She is watching another woman living the life that was meant for her. She is frustrated because she thought she had done all the things she was supposed to.  At some point there was supposed to be a ‘happily ever after’ moment.  But it never came. 


Of course she recalls that over the years she has had good times as well as bad… joyful times and times of sorrow and suffering. She’s formed some great relationships. Things on this side of the glass are not THAT bad… just not the perfect picture she thought she would get to one day – if she just worked hard and long enough, made enough money, did all the right things. Along the way there were some bad choices. But when she thinks about it she realizes that actually even when things went bad – something good also happened – and this makes her think of her favorite scripture.  She smiles wistfully. 


She looks again at the woman on the other side of the glass.  She’s definitely thinner. She wonders where these extra 20 pounds came from after all. The other woman walks with her head a bit higher, and a strut that she used to have but somehow lost over the years.  She thinks about her career. She likes her job ok, and has made changes along the way.  She’s had her share of success but her name is nowhere in lights.  She’s looking forward to opening that business one day, and makes a mental note to do some research tomorrow.  But the stress of this rob-peter-to-pay-paul, middle-class, not-QUITE- enough-to-go-around existence can wear a sistah out!  It’s frustrating keeping the ticker tape going in your head each day about what bills you can pay and what has to wait. 


But then again, she recognizes that she is blessed indeed.  She has all of the things she needs, and even some of the things she wants.  She thinks about her family and friends, and how much love and support flows from person to person – and she is even more grateful.  She takes her hands down from the glass, glancing once more at the woman over there. She looks completely together, but she does notice a bit of strain on her face.  She wonders what causes those worry lines on her forehead.  But frankly, she decides that she likes her life JUST fine.  She walks away with a smile on her face. 


Today I’m going to talk about a subject that I touch on now and then: being still.  Being still allows you to tune into your inner voice, to converse with God, and the get clear on things.

In the movie version of Dreamgirls featuring Jamie Foxx, Beyonce and Jennifer Hudson, Beyonce sang a song entitled, “Listen”.  When I first heard it I was struck by the message of self-empowerment contained within. Here it is: 

Listen to your inner voice!



Today there is so much competing for our attention: work, families, and other social commitments at church, volunteer activities, and the like.  Sometimes, as in the song Beyonce is singing, we let others’ expectations guide us more than our own inner voices. We can slip into auto-pilot and let life carry us along day by day, week by week, and the next thing you know, you look up and five or ten years have passed.  “What happened to all my dreams and aspirations?” you may ask.  Does this sound familiar? I know the feeling well.  The good news is this: every day is an opportunity to start fresh.

My suggestion for you is to first of all PUMP THE BRAKES.  Slow down. Take stock of what’s in your life. Spend some time prioritizing what’s important, what you can say no to, and how to incorporate more of what you want into your life.  Before you protest, really think about it. Sometimes we act as if we have no choices, when in fact we do.  But in order to do that we must get still, and LISTEN. 

Maybe you can schedule more time for prayer and meditation – even if it’s only 10 minutes a day.  Maybe you can pause in the car before you run in the house to make dinner, or set aside time at lunch for yourself - even if you can’t afford an entire hour.  Maybe you can use your lunch hour to walk and instead of putting your iPod on or talking on the phone, just enjoy some alone time.  Ask yourself that question that has been running through your head.  And then just BE QUIET.  If you are sitting you might want to have some paper with you, because you might have some answers that you weren’t aware of! 

Trust yourself, trust God and embrace the journey of life! 


Spring Forward!

Today we turned the clocks forward one hour, gaining one more hour of daylight. I couldn't resist the urge to write about the idea of forward motion. As a coach, one of my primary responsibilities is to encourage my clients to keep moving forward. Plus, spring is here! It’s my absolute favorite season. The warmer weather (and cuter clothes), beautiful colors, everything coming to life after hibernating fir the winter... I love it all! (Except for the allergies, that is...)

So let's dig into this a bit. I have a few questions for you.

  1. Where do you need to "get moving" to? Is it in a literal sense, as in exercising or making healthier choices?  Or perhaps you are stuck in neutral and need to start or revive an important project. 
  2. Is it time for spring cleaning? What are you holding onto (physically or emotionally) that is weighing you down?
  3. What's next? Hopefully this is something that is always on your radar screen.  Are you actively working on YOUR next challenge?
  4. What has been stopping you? This is probably the most important question.  Sometimes procrastination, self-doubt, or negative self-talk keep us from staying motivated.  Other times external factors such as time, money, or other barriers impede our progress.

I hope you took some time to reflect on these questions.  Whatever your situation is, I encourage you to act with urgency to pursue what’s next for you.  Life is short… days turn into weeks, which turn into years. You can look up 5 or 10 years later and wonder what happened.  Wouldn’t you rather look back to 5 or 10 years and enjoy great memories of what you’ve created? 

Upcoming Workshop… Dreamers Invited!

If you’re not sure where to start, join me for a provocative session on March 31 on Dreams vs. Barriers. On one hand, we all have dreams – some that we act upon, and some we don’t.  On the other hand, there are things that stand in our way.  Some of our own creation and others are not. This session will examine both aspects of goal setting. Come work on how to get past your barriers to the life you truly deserve!  For more info visit www.trinaramsey.com.

Have a great week!

Get Your Groove Back


What’s going on in your life these days? Are you on track for the goals that you’ve set for yourself?  Do you awake in the morning with a zest for life, or dreading another day? Depending on your answers to these questions, it may be time for you to get your groove back.

Have you had those experiences when you were completely in the zone? When everything clicked and worked in your favor? Take some time to reflect on what worked for you then.  See how you can tap into that same energy. 

If you have not yet had this experience, here are a few tips:

  1. Evaluate. Pull out paper and pen (or keyboard). Make a list of the top 3 things that are working for you, and the top 3 things that are not working for you.
  2. Reduce negative energy. For each of the things that are NOT working for you, try to come up with at least one way to contain them.  These things are your energy drains, and are keeping you from taking it to the next level.
  3. Focus! For each of the things that are working for you, continue to do them. Choose the top thing that if you truly invested time in it, it would really make a difference in your life. Put that one thing on the front burner and focus more time there.
  4. Consider creating a vision board.  This is a wonderful creative process that will help you create a visual reminder of what you really want out of life.  If you are in the DC area, join us for a special workshop to create one for yourself!  Click here for more info. www.envision2012.eventbrite.com

If it was difficult for you to come up with the lists, try to spend more time thinking about your life and what you want out of it.  Put aside time alone, even if it’s just 10 minutes a day.  Unplug and really think about what you want… that means no music, no media – just you and your inner voice.  Then go through the exercises above.  You may want to consider journaling about it.

Here's to your life!





Valentine’s Day is upon us, which draws our attention to the romantic side of love. This month I want to focus on how to incorporate more love in our daily lives.  I recently got a Kindle Fire – it’s my latest toy/obsession. (Bear with me there is a connection.) I’ve also gotten hooked on an enewsletter called Pixel of Ink. Each day I receive a listing of featured books – some free and some greatly discounted. So I’ve been loading up my Kindle and now have a nice collection!  I recently downloaded Lead with Luv - A Different Way to Create Real Success by Ken Blanchard & Colleen Barret. The premise is that businesses that put people first create lasting success.  I’m looking forward to reading it. Now this is right up my alley! I haven’t started it yet, but I am intrigued.


So I started thinking about what it would look like if we all projected love on a regular basis – and what our world would be like if more of us adopted this simple yet seemingly undervalued principle.  So this month I invite you to incorporate some small ideas into your regular routine.

  1. Do something nice for someone.  This can be as simple as a random act of kindness like feeding someone’s meter, or offering to get a cup of coffee for a colleague at work when you go out for a run. 
  2. Think about what you can give instead of what you can get.  We have become so ME focused in our society.  When you are dealing with a friend, colleague, or significant other, instead of thinking about how a certain decision will benefit you, think about their perspective. I imagine that this might help you get to a win/win solution in many cases… instead of how we have all been trained to think “win/lose”.  I believe in karma – and that the Lord/universe will repay you for the positive seeds that you plant.
  3. Give one sincere compliment a day. Don’t be disingenuous – people tend to pick up on it.  But if you see someone who has a nice smile, a great suit or a pretty scarf on – let him or her know – even if it’s a perfect stranger. Sometimes it may be the only positive thing someone hears all day.  Even better – compliment someone’s character or actions. Praise your child for doing something nice, for setting a good example, or doing a chore without being asked.  Tell your colleague how much you enjoy working with him or her. 
  4. Learn how to accept compliments. I was just discussing this with a good friend.  It amazes me how difficult this can be.  If someone compliments you – don’t throw it back by making some excuse or minimizing it. Learn to say, “thank you” and smile.  And enjoy the good feeling!
  5. Learn the art of self-love. Sometimes we go, go, go so much that we don’t do the things we should to take care of ourselves.  We skip breakfast or lunch, don’t get enough sleep, or work such long hours that it endangers our health.  Treat yourself with the same kindness that you would bestow on others.  Take time for yourself. Even if it’s a quick walk or a quiet moment between obligations. And hey – go ahead and indulge every now and again… Whatever that means for you.  Loosen up and live a little!

I hope this has been a good reminder for you, and that your month will be full of wonderful experiences! 

With much love,




It’s dark inside the cocoon

But her eyes have adjusted

She has waited a lifetime

For this metamorphosis.

She is excited.


What a sense of possibility!

Can’t wait to try out her

Beautiful new wings

For the first time.

She imagines what it will feel like

To soar through the air

Feeling the power,

Using her sense of direction

And instincts to guide her.


She is exhausted.

As much as she has worked

In her former state,

She had no idea

How exhausting this

State of becoming would be!

Facing the past and

Sorting through the rubble,

She keeps the good

And thanks God for the

Experiences and lessons learned.


She knows that the past does not

Dictate the future,

And her faith in God and

Personal testimony assure her

That whatever lay ahead,

God is with her, no matter where

The new wings carry her.


She faces her fear.

Sometimes her doubts arise…

What are you doing girl?

You are not a butterfly, but a caterpillar.

So come on back here and squirm

Around with the rest of us!

What if your wings don’t work?

What if you fall?

What if they turn out not to be

As beautiful as you expected?


Recalling the amazing stories of

The giants that came before her,

She claims their stories as her

Future possibility.


She smiles as she

Gets back to work

Calling those things that be not into being

Through God’s grace

And her innate power

And determination



© May 2009







Letting Go of Fear

Fear is one of the most pervasive forces in our lives.  It can cripple people and steal their joy.  It can stop us from embracing our true purpose – the reason God created us to contribute to this world.  Fear can also be a strong motivator.  Many achievement oriented people use fear of failure to propel them to success.  Today I encourage you to examine your relationship with fear.  I have a few questions for you.

  1. What decision are you postponing or procrastinating about, because of fear?
  2. Try to think about BOTH the consequences of acting AND the consequences of not acting.  What do you see?
  3. What’s the worst that can happen?  How much can you live with if that actually occurred?
  4. What is the cost of NOT ACTING?  Be real with yourself – think about the emotional, economic and other factors that will be affected by not taking a step.
  5. What’s ONE SMALL STEP you can take to confront your fear and do it anyway?


What's next for you?

Join me Saturday to "Design the Life You Deserve". Early bird deadline is tomorrow, Jan 30. To register: http://designingyourlife.eventbrite.com/ Hope to see you there!

Getting to "What's Next"

I LOVE January!  I love the spirit of possibility and optimism that lies before us.  We are ready to "get 'er done" - and can start out feeling invincible!  As a lifecoach, this is music to my ears!  It also inspires me to work to help people to get over the 'resolution burnout' that so often catches up with us in February. 


I am convinced that lasting change is possible.  I've seen it! As a matter of fact I've experienced it myself.  It was this same energy that caused me to pursue a "kick it up a notch" program in January several years ago  And it was there that I finally got still enough (and brave enough) to listen, really listen to what my inner voice had been trying to tell me for some time.  As a result, I began pursuing my practice that year, and the certification program that I also enrolled it.  It was truly a turning point in my life!


One of my biggest wishes is for people to experience similar breakthroughs in life.  The past does NOT dictate the future. The future holds LIMITLESS possibilities.  Many times the barriers we encounter are of our own making - deciding we can't do it for some reason or other.


What's in store for you this year? I encourage you to go for it - and push past whatever reasons you have for trying.  The first step is deciding to do something different. Next you must envision yourself already achieving the goal.  Close your eyes.... yes NOW.  Take a moment - what have you got to lose?  Envision that goal accomoplished, and feel what that will feel like when you reach your goal.  Savor it.  Really savor it.  Feels good, right? The rest is a mixture of perseverence, hard work, and inspiration.  Keep at it.. one step at a time.  YOU CAN DO IT!  I believe in you.  More importantly, YOU must belive.  Are you ready?  Let's do it!  READY, SET, GO!


For those who would like a bit of encouragement along the way, I offer 1:1 coaching services.  Contact me and we can put together a program for you!  First session is free! 202-384-0797 or tramsey43@gmail.com

Cultivating a Winning Attitude

Are you a winner? Do you see yourself as someone who naturally succeeds? Or do you constantly second guess yourself and have a hard time envisioning your own success?

Winners don't have to be selfish, or arrogant, just CONFIDENT. If you win, it doesn't mean that someone else automatically has to lose. Isn't that comforting? Some people who are naturally generous assume that in order to be a winner, someone has to LOSE.

So let me ask again, are you a winner? Still uncomfortable, huh? What attitudes do you have to shift about yourself in order to be more comfortable with being successful? What preconceived notions should you challenge begin to see yourself as a winner.  In order to succeed, we must first create success in our mind.  In order to do that, you must overcome limiting beliefs. 

Food for thought... have a fantastic day!


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